The Problem
Many traditional sexual positions, including the missionary position, do not make it very easy for a woman to achieve orgasm. This is usually due to decreased clitoral stimulation. We have compiled a list and explanation of some alternatives that you may find helpful.

 

The ICS Principle
Whatever you do, remember the ICS ("icks") Principle: It's the Clitoris, Stupid. Almost everyone knows a man's orgasm comes from stimulation to the penis. Nearly every common sex act stimulates the penis. Yet, people go looking for a woman's orgasm in the vagina or that yet unconfirmed G-spot. Many common sex positions and activities do not stimulate the clitoris very effectively. Worse yet, people believe that if traditional genital intercourse doesn't bring a woman to orgasm, then it is because women are less sexual creatures or that the particular woman has a problem.

In terms of sexual pleasure, the penis and the clitoris are analogous organs. They both become engorged with blood during sexual excitement. They both become erect with adequate sexual stimulation. They are both the primary source of orgasm and require direct physical stimulation for maximizing orgasm.

Converting the Missionary
Many people think "sex" is synonymous with the missionary position (man on top/genital-genital intercourse). This position does a good job of stimulating the penis. However, a woman's vaginal opening is several centimeters farther back than her clitoris when she is lying on her back. The penis may not come in contact with the clitoris much at all in this position.

There are several modifications that can improve contact. Arch your back a bit. Here, you are trying to rotate the pelvis forward. Imagine yourself lying flat on your back. Imagine a U shaped line starting from your belly button going in between your legs and between your buttocks. The clitoris is along the line between your legs but not quite at the top of the U shape. You are trying to move so that the clitoris is about where the top of the U was originally. If this is too hard to picture, just move your hips around a lot, flex and unflex your knees. You are bound to hit on it sooner or later, and it's fun trying.

The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)
This may be and is often still done in the missionary position. Rather than thrusting as the basic motion, there is a rocking motion, which stimulates the clitoris much better. The man enters initially from between the woman's legs which are apart and slightly bent, but then lifts himself further up the length of her body so that his thrusts make contact with her clitoris. At the very same time the base of the man's penis is also being stimulated. By leaning to the right or left of her torso, the man can rest his weight partially on his partner and partially on whatever the platform is for this event. It is important for the man to relax his upper body. The woman can then wrap her legs around his, trying to extend the stretch of her legs so that her ankles are about at the height of his calves. With this position a woman can then begin to thrust her own pelvis, repeatedly making contact between her clitoris and the base of his penis. Basically this is a rocking back and forth in sync sort of thing with the focus on the clitoris and the base of the penis rather than being all about penetration. The CAT allows the man and woman's combined thrusting to do the job. CAT is basically a revised missionary position, with the man on top and face to face with his partner (CAT can be done with the woman on top, too). What's different is that the man has vaginal sex with his partner from a higher angle than usual, putting pressure on the woman's clitoris while he enters and re-enters her in response to her pelvic thrusts.

Taking Turns
Women are capable of multiple orgasms with very little time in between. Women also often take longer to reach initial orgasm. Beginning sex with direct oral or manual stimulation of the clitoris until orgasm followed by missionary position sex is an option that accommodates both these differences. Often the woman will have another orgasm during penetration, because the clitoris is erect and more sensitive after the first orgasm. Sometimes she doesn't which is why it is called taking turns: first they do her orgasm, then they do his. In this case, I think "Ladies First" always applies.

Simultaneous Oral Sex (69)
Called the most egalitarian sexual position; partners lie with their heads at opposite ends of the bed, on their sides. The taller partner has to curl up a bit so that each partner's mouth is lined up with the other's genitals and vice versa. The most sensitive part of the penis is under the rim of the head. Running your tongue under there is sure to please.

On Top of the World (woman on top)
As before, the key is that the woman has control of the thrusting and can position herself to rub her clitoris against the shaft of the penis more effectively.