CHAPTER 1 - On
Marriage
CHAPTER 2 - Of Creating Confidence
in the Girl
CHAPTER 3 - On Courtship, and
the Manifestation of the Feelings by Outward Signs and Deeds
CHAPTER 4 - About Things to be Done Only by the Man, and the Acquisition
of the Girl Thereby. Also what is to be Done by a Girl to Gain Over
a Man, and Subject Him to Her
CHAPTER 5 - On Certain Forms
of Marriage
CHAPTER 1
On Marriage
WHEN a girl of the same caste, and a virgin, is married in accordance
with the precepts of Holy Writ, the results of such a union are
the acquisition of Dharma and Artha, offspring, affinity, increase
of friends, and untarnished love. For this reason a man should
fix his affections upon a girl who is of good family, whose parents
are alive, and who is three years or more younger than himself.
She should be born of a highly respectable family, possessed of
wealth, well connected, and with many relations and friends. She
should also be beautiful, of a good disposition, with lucky marks
on her body, and with good hair, nails, teeth, ears, eyes and
breasts, neither more nor less than they ought to be, and no one
of them entirely wanting, and not troubled with a sickly body.
The man should, of course, also possess these qualities himself.
But at all events, says Ghotakamukha, a girl who has been already
joined with others (i.e. no longer a maiden) should never be loved,
for it would be reproachable to do such a thing.
Now in order to bring about a marriage with such a girl as described
above, thee parents and relations of the man should exert themselves,
as also such friends on both sides as may be desired to assist
in the matter. These friends should bring to the notice of the
girl's parents, the faults, both present and future, of all the
other men that may wish to marry her, and should at the same time
extol even to exaggeration all the excellencies, ancestral, and
paternal, of their friend, so as to endear him to them, and particularly
to those that may be liked by the girl's mother. One of the friends
should also disguise himself as an astrologer, and declare the
future good fortune and wealth of his friend by showing the existence
of all the lucky omens (1) and signs (2), the good influence of
planets, the auspicious entrance of the sun into a sign of the
Zodiac, propitious stars and fortunate marks on his body. Others
again should rouse the jealousy of the girl's mother by telling
her that their friend has a chance of getting from some other
quarter even a better girl than hers.
A girl should be taken as a wife, as also given in marriage, when
fortune, signs, omens, and the words (3) of others are favourable,
for, says Ghotakamukha, a man should not marry at any time he
likes. A girl who is asleep, crying, or gone out of the house
when sought in marriage, or who is betrothed to another, should
not be married. The following also should be avoided:
· One who is kept concealed
· One who has an ill-sounding name
· One who has her nose depressed
· One who has her nostril turned up
· One who is formed like a male
· One who is bent down
· One who has crooked thighs
· One who has a projecting forehead
· One who has a bald head
· One who does not like purity
· One who has been polluted by another
· One who is affected with the Gulma (4)
· One who is disfigured in any way
· One who has fully arrived at puberty
· One who is a friend
· One who is a younger sister
· One who is a Varshakari (5)
In the same way a girl who is called by the name of one of the
twenty-seven stars, or by the name of a tree, or of a river, is
considered worthless, as also a girl whose name ends in `r' or
`l'. But some authors say that prosperity is gained only by marrying
that girl to whom one becomes attached, and that therefore no
other girl but the one who is loved should be married by anyone.
When a girl becomes marriageable her parents should dress her
smartly, and should place her where she can be easily seen by
all. Every afternoon, having dressed her and decorated her in
a becoming manner, they should send her with her female companions
to sports, sacrifices, and marriage ceremonies, and thus show
her to advantage in society, because she is a kind of merchandise.
They should also receive with kind words and signs of friendliness
those of an auspicious appearance who may come accompanied by
their friends and relations for the purpose of marrying their
daughter, and under some pretext or other having first dressed
her becomingly, should then present her to them. After this they
should await the pleasure of fortune, and with this object should
appoint a future day on which a determination could be come to
with regard to their daughter's marriage. On this occasion when
the persons have come, the parents of the girl should ask them
to bathe and dine, and should say, `Everything will take place
at the proper time', and should not then comply with the request,
but should settle the matter later.
When a girl is thus acquired, either according to the custom of
the country, or according to his own desire, the man should marry
her in accordance with the precepts of the Holy Writ, according
to one of the four kinds of marriage.
Thus ends marriage.
There are also some verses on the subject as follows:
`Amusement in society, such as completing verses begun by others,
marriages, and auspicious ceremonies should be carried on neither
with superiors, nor inferiors, but with our equals. That should
be known as a high connection when a man, after marrying a girl,
has to serve her and her relations afterwards like a servant,
and such a connection is censured by the good. On the other hand,
that reproachable connection, where a man, together with his relations,
lords it over his wife, is called a low connection by the wise.
But when both the man and the woman afford mutual pleasure to
each other, and when the relatives on both sides pay respect to
one another, such is called a connection in the proper sense of
the word. Therefore a man should contract neither a high connection
by which he is obliged to bow down afterwards to his kinsmen,
nor a low connection, which is universally reprehended by all.'
Footnotes
1 The flight of a blue jay on a person's left
side is considered a lucky omen when one starts on any business;
the appearance of a cat before anyone at such a time is looked
on as a bad omen. There are many omens of the same kind.
2 Such as the throbbing of the right eye of men
and the left eye of women, etc.
3 Before anything is begun it is a custom to go early
in the morning to a neighbour's house, and overhear the first
words that may be spoken in his family, and according as the words
heard are of good or bad import, to draw an inference as to the
success or failure of the undertaking.
4 A disease consisting of any glandular enlargement
in any part of the body.
5 A woman, the palms of whose hands and the soles of
whose feet are always perspiring.

CHAPTER 2
Of Creating Confidence in the Girl
For the first three days after marriage, the girl and her husband
should sleep on the floor, abstain from sexual pleasures, and
eat their food without seasoning it either with alkali or salt.
For the next seven days they should bathe amidst tire sounds of
auspicious musical instruments, should decorate themselves, dine
together, and pay attention to their relations as well as to those
who may have come to witness their marriage. This is applicable
to persons of all castes.
On the night of the tenth day the man should begin in a lonely
place with soft words, and thus create confidence in the girl.
Some authors say that for the purpose of winning her over he should
not speak to her for three days, but the followers of Babhravya
are of opinion that if the man does not speak with her for three
days, the girl may be discouraged by seeing him spiritless like
a pillar, and, becoming dejected, she may begin to despise him
as a eunuch. Vatsyayana says that the man should begin to win
her over, and to create confidence in her, but should abstain
at first from sexual pleasures. Women, being of a tender nature,
want tender beginnings, and when they are forcibly approached
by men with whom they are but slightly acquainted, they sometimes
suddenly become haters of sexual connection, and sometimes even
haters of the male sex. The man should therefore approach the
girl according to her liking, and should make use of those devices
by which he may be able to establish himself more and more into
her confidence.
These devices are as follows:
He should embrace her first of all in a way she likes most, because
it does not last for a long time.
He should embrace her with the upper part of his body because
that is easier and simpler.
If the girl is grown up, or if the man has known her for some
time, he may embrace her by the light of a lamp, but if he is
not well acquainted with her, or if she is a young girl, he should
then embrace her in darkness.
When the girl accepts the embrace, the man should put a tambula
or screw of betel nut and betel leaves in her mouth, and if she
will not take it, he should induce her to do so by conciliatory
words, entreaties, oaths, and kneeling at her feet, for it is
a universal rule that however bashful or angry a woman may be
she never disregards a man's kneeling at her feet. At the time
of giving this tambula he should kiss her mouth softly and gracefully
without making any sound. When she is gained over in this respect
he should then make her talk, and so that she may be induced to
talk he should ask her questions about things of which he knows
or pretends to know nothing, and which can be answered in a few
words. If she does not speak to him, he should not frighten her,
but should ask her the same thing again and again in a conciliatory
manner. If she does not then speak he should urge her to give
a reply because, as Ghotakamukha says, `all girls hear everything
said to them by men, but do not themselves sometimes say a single
word'. When she is thus importuned, the girl should give replies
by shakes of the head, but if she has quarrelled with the man
she should not even do that. When she is asked by the man whether
she wishes for him, and whether she likes him, she should remain
silent for a long time, and when at last importuned to reply,
should give him a favourable answer by a nod of her head. If the
man is previously acquainted with the girl he should converse
with her by means of a female friend, who may be favourable to
him, and in the confidence of both, and carry on the conversation
on both sides. On such an occasion the girl should smile with
her head bent down, and if the female friend say more on her part
than she was desired to do, she should chide her and dispute with
her. The female friend should say in jest even what she is not
desired to say by the girl, and add, `she says so', on which the
girl should say indistinctly and prettily, `O no! I did not say
so', and she should then smile and throw an occasional glance
towards the man. If the girl is familiar with the man, she should
place near him, without saying anything, the tambula, the ointment,
or the garland that he may have asked for, or she may tie them
up in his upper garment. While she is engaged in this, the man
should touch her young breasts in the sounding way of pressing
with the nails, and if she prevents him doing this he should say
to her, ` I will not do it again if you will embrace me', and
should in this way cause her to embrace him. While he is being
embraced by her he should pass his hand repeatedly over and about
her body. By and by he should place her in his lap, and try more
and more to gain her consent, and if she will not yield to him
he should frighten her by saying `I shall impress marks of my
teeth and nails on your lips and breasts, and then make similar
marks on my own body, and shall tell my friends that you did them.
What will you say then?' In this and other ways, as fear and confidence
are created in the minds of children, so should the man gain her
over to his wishes.
On the second and third nights, after her confidence has increased
still more, he should feel the whole of her body with his hands,
and kiss her all over; he should also place his hands upon her
thighs and shampoo them, and if he succeed in this he should then
shampoo the joints of her thighs. If she tries to prevent him
doing this he should say to her, `What harm is there in doing
it?' and should persuade her to let him do it. After gaining this
point he should touch her private parts, should loosen her girdle
and the knot of her dress, and turning up her lower garment should
shampoo the joints of her naked thighs. Under various pretences
he should do all these things, but he should not at that time
begin actual congress. After this he should teach her the sixty-four
arts, should tell her how much he loves her, and describe to her
the hopes which he formerly entertained regarding her. He should
also promise to be faithful to her in future, and should dispel
all her fears with respect to rival women, and, at last, after
having overcome her bashfulness, he should begin to enjoy her
in a way so as not to frighten her.
So much about creating confidence in the girl; and there are,
moreover, some verses on the subject as follows:
`A man acting according to the inclinations of a girl should try
to gain her over so that she may love him and place her confidence
in him. A man does not succeed either by implicitly following
the inclination of a girl, or by wholly opposing her, and he should
therefore adopt a middle course. He who knows how to make himself
beloved by women, as well as to increase their honour and create
confidence in them, this man becomes an object of their love.
But he who neglects a girl, thinking she is too bashful, is despised
by her as a beast ignorant of the working of the female mind.
Moreover, a girl forcibly enjoyed by one who does not understand
the hearts of girls becomes nervous, uneasy, and dejected, and
suddenly begins to hate the man who has taken advantage of her;
and then, when her love is not understood or returned, she sinks
into despondency, and becomes either a hater of mankind altogether,
or, hating her own man, she has recourse to other men.' (1)
Footnotes
1 These last few lines have been exemplified
in many ways in many novels of this century.

CHAPTER 3
On Courtship, and the Manifestation of the Feelings by Outward
Signs and Deeds
A poor man possessed of good qualities, a man born of a low
family possessed of mediocre qualities, a neighbour possessed
of wealth, and one under the control of his father, mother or
brothers, should not marry without endeavouring to gain over the
girl from her childhood to love and esteem him. Thus a boy separated
from his parents, and living in the house of his uncle, should
try to gain over the daughter of his uncle, or some other girl,
even though she be previously betrothed to another. And this way
of gaining over a girl, says Ghotakamukha, is unexceptional, because
Dharma can be accomplished by means of it as well as by any other
way of marriage.
When a boy has thus begun to woo the girl he loves, he should
spend his time with her and amuse her with various games and diversions
fitted for their age and acquaintanceship, such as picking and
collecting flowers, making garlands of flowers, playing the parts
of members of a fictitious family, cooking food, playing with
dice, playing with cards, the game of odd and even, the game of
finding out the middle finger, the game of six pebbles, and such
other games as may be prevalent in the country, and agreeable
to the disposition of the girl. In addition to this, he should
carry on various amusing games played by several persons together,
such as hide and seek, playing with seeds, hiding things in several
small heaps of wheat and looking for them, blindman's buff, gymnastic
exercises, and other games of the same sort, in company with the
girl, her friends and female attendants. The man should also show
great kindness to any woman whom the girl thinks fit to be trusted,
and should also make new acquaintances, but above all he should
attach to himself by kindness and little services the daughter
of the girl's nurse, for if she be gained over, even though she
comes to know of his design, she does not cause any obstruction,
but is sometimes even able to effect a union between him and the
girl. And though she knows the true character of the man, she
always talks of his many excellent qualities to the parents and
relations of the girl, even though she may not be desired to do
so by him.
In this way the man should do whatever the girl takes most delight
in, and he should get for her whatever she may have a desire to
possess. Thus he should procure for her such playthings as may
be hardly known to other girls. He may also show her a ball dyed
with various colours, and other curiosities of the same sort;
and should give her dolls made of cloth, wood, buffalo-horn, wax,
flour, or earth; also utensils for cooking food, and figures in
wood, such as a man and woman standing, a pair of rams, or goats,
or sheep; also temples made of earth, bamboo, or wood, dedicated
to various goddesses; and cages for parrots, cuckoos, starlings,
quails, cocks, and partridges; water-vessels of different sorts
and of elegant forms, machines for throwing water about, guitars,
stands for putting images upon, stools, lac, red arsenic, yellow
ointment, vermilion and collyrium, as well as sandalwood, saffron,
betel nut and betel leaves. Such things should be given at different
times whenever he gets a good opportunity of meeting her, and
some of them should be given in private, and some in public, according
to circumstances. In short, he should try in every way to make
her look upon him as one who would do for her everything that
she wanted to be done.
In the next place he should get her to meet him in some place
privately, and should then tell her that the reason of his giving
presents to her in secret was the fear that the parents of both
of them might be displeased, and then he may add that the things
which he had given her had been much desired by other people.
When her love begins to show signs of increasing he should relate
to her agreeable stories if she expresses a wish to hear such
narratives. Or if she takes delight in legerdemain, he should
amaze her by performing various tricks of jugglery; or if she
feels a great curiosity to see a performance of the various arts,
he should show his own skill in them. When she is delighted with
singing he should entertain her with music, and on certain days,
and at the time of going together to moonlight fairs and festivals,
and at the time of her return after being absent from home, he
should present her with bouquets of flowers, and with chaplets
for the head, and with ear ornaments and rings, for these are
the proper occasions on which such things should be presented.
He should also teach the daughter of the girl's nurse all the
sixty-four means of pleasure practised by men, and under this
pretext should also inform her of his great skill in the art of
sexual enjoyment. All this time he should wear a fine dress, and
make as good an appearance as possible, for young women love men
who live with them, and who are handsome, good looking and well
dressed. As for the sayings that though women may fall in love,
they still make no effort themselves to gain over the object of
their affections, that is only a matter of idle talk.
Now a girl always shows her love by outward signs and actions,
such as the following: She never looks the man in the face, and
becomes abashed when she is looked at by him; under some pretext
or other she shows her limbs to him; she looks secretly at him
though he has gone away from her side, hangs down her head when
she is asked some question by him, and answers in indistinct words
and unfinished sentences, delights to be in his company for a
long time, speaks to her attendants in a peculiar tone with the
hope of attracting his attention towards her when she is at a
distance from him, does not wish to go from the place where he
is, under some pretext or other she makes him look at different
things, narrates to him tales and stories very slowly so that
she may continue conversing with him for a long time, kisses and
embraces before him a child sitting in her lap, draws ornamental
marks on the foreheads of her female servants, performs sportive
and graceful movements when her attendants speak jestingly to
her in the presence of her lover, confides in her lover's friends,
and respects and obeys them, shows kindness to his servants, converses
with them, and engages them to do her work as if she were their
mistress, and listens attentively to them when they tell stories
about her lover to somebody else, enters his house when induced
to do so by the daughter of her nurse, and by her assistance manages
to converse and play with him, avoids being seen by her lover
when she is not dressed and decorated, gives him by the hand of
her female friend her ear ornament, ring, or garland of flowers
that he may have asked to see, always wears anything that he may
have presented to her, becomes dejected when any other bridegroom
is mentioned by her parents, and does not mix with, those who
may be of his party, or who may support his claims.
There are also some verses on the subject as follows:
`A man, who has seen and perceived the feelings of the girl towards
him, and who has noticed the outward signs and movements by which
those feelings are expressed, should do everything in his power
to effect a union with her. He should gain over a young girl by
childlike sports, a damsel come of age by his skill in the arts,
and a girl that loves him by having recourse to persons in whom
she confides.'

CHAPTER 4
About Things to be Done Only by the Man, and the Acquisition of
the Girl Thereby. Also What is to be Done by a Girl to Gain Over
a Man, and Subject Him to Her
Now when the girl begins to show her love by outward signs and
motions, as described in the last chapter, the lover should try
to gain her over entirely by various ways and means, such as the
following:
When engaged with her in any game or sport he should intentionally
hold her hand. He should practise upon her the various kinds of
embraces, such as the touching embrace, and others already described
in a preceding chapter (Part II, Chapter II). He should show her
a pair of human beings cut out of the leaf of a tree, and such
like things, at intervals. When engaged in water sports, he should
dive at a distance from her, and come tip close to her. He should
show an increased liking for the new foliage of trees and such
like things. He should describe to her the pangs he suffers on
her account. He should relate to her the beautiful dream that
he has had with reference to other women. At parties and assemblies
of his caste he should sit near her, and touch her under some
pretence or other, and having placed his foot upon hers, he should
slowly touch each of her toes, and press the ends of the nails;
if successful in this, he should get hold of her foot with his
hand and repeat the same thing. He should also press a finger
of her hand between his toes when she happens to be washing his
feet; and whenever he gives anything to her or takes anything
from her, he should show her by his manner and look how much he
loves her.
He should sprinkle upon her the water brought for rinsing his
mouth; and when alone with her in a lonely place, or in darkness,
he should make love to her, and tell her the true state of his
mind without distressing her in any way.
Whenever he sits with her on the same seat or bed he should say
to her, `I have something to tell you in private', and then, when
she comes to hear it in a quiet place, he should express his love
to her more by manner and signs than by words. When he comes to
know the state of her feelings towards him he should pretend to
be ill, and should make her come to his house to speak to him.
There he should intentionally hold her hand and place it on his
eyes and forehead, and under the pretence of preparing some medicine
for him he should ask her to do the work for his sake in the following
words: `This work must be done by you, and by nobody else.' When
she wants to go away he should let her go, with an earnest request
to come and see him again. This device of illness should be continued
for three days and three nights. After this, when she begins coming
to see him frequently, he should carry on long conversations with
her, for, says Ghotakamukha, `though a man loves a girl ever so
much, he never succeeds in winning her without a great deal of
talking'. At last, when the man finds the girl completely gained
over, he may then begin to enjoy her. As for the saying that women
grow less timid than usual during the evening, and in darkness,
and are desirous of congress at those times, and do not oppose
men then, and should only be enjoyed at these hours, it is a matter
of talk only. When it is impossible for the man to carry on his
endeavours alone, he should, by means of the daughter of her nurse,
or of a female friend in whom she confides, cause the girl to
be brought to him without making known to her his design, and
he should then proceed with her in the manner above described.
Or he should in the beginning send his own female servant to live
with the girl as her friend, and should then gain her over by
her means.
At last, when he knows the state of her feelings by her outward
manner and conduct towards him at religious ceremonies, marriage
ceremonies, fairs, festivals, theatres, public assemblies, and
such like occasions, he should begin to enjoy her when she is
alone, for Vatsyayana lays it down, that women, when resorted
to at proper times and in proper places, do not turn away from
their lovers.
When a girl, possessed of good qualities and well-bred, though
born in a humble family, or destitute of wealth, and not therefore
desired by her equals, or an orphan girl, or one deprived of her
parents, but observing the rules of her family and caste, should
wish to bring about her own marriage when she comes of age, such
a girl should endeavour to gain over a strong and good looking
young man, or a person whom she thinks would marry her on account
of the weakness of his mind, and even without the consent of his
parents. She should do this by such means as would endear her
to the said person, as well as by frequently seeing and meeting
him. Her mother also should constantly cause them to meet by means
of her female friends, and the daughter of her nurse. The girl
herself should try to get alone with her beloved in some quiet
place, and at odd times should give him flowers, betel nut, betel
leaves and perfumes. She should also show her skill in the practice
of the arts, in shampooing, in scratching and in pressing with
the nails. She should also talk to him on the subjects he likes
best, and discuss with him the ways and means of gaining over
and winning the affections of a girl.
But old authors say that although the girl loves the man ever
so much, she should not offer herself, or make the first overtures,
for a girl who does this loses her dignity, and is liable to be
scorned and rejected. But when the man shows his wish to enjoy
her, she should be favourable to him and should show no change
in her demeanour when he embraces her, and should receive all
the manifestations of his love as if she were ignorant of the
state of his mind. But when he tries to kiss her she should oppose
him; when he begs to be allowed to have sexual intercourse with
her she should let him touch her private parts only and with considerable
difficulty; and though importuned by him, she
should not yield herself up to him as if of her own accord, but
should resist his attempts to have her. It is only, moreover,
when she is certain that she is truly loved, and that her over
is indeed devoted to her, and will not change his mind, that she
should then give herself up to him, and persuade him to marry
her quickly. After losing her virginity she should tell her confidential
friends about it.
Here end the efforts of a girl to gain over a man.
There are also some verses on the subject as follows:
`A girl who is much sought after should marry the man that she
likes, and whom she thinks would be obedient to her, and capable
of giving her pleasure. But when from the desire of wealth a girl
is married by her parents to a rich man without taking into consideration
the character or looks of the bridegroom, or when given to a man
who has several wives, she never becomes attached to the man,
even though he be endowed with good qualities, obedient to her
will, active, strong, and healthy, and anxious to please her in
every way. (1) A husband who is obedient but yet master of himself,
though he be poor and not good looking, is better than one who
is common to many women, even though he be handsome and attractive.
The wives of rich men, where there are many wives, are not generally
attached to their husbands, and are not confidential with them,
and even though they possess all the external enjoyments of life,
still have recourse to other men. A man who is of a low mind,
who has fallen from his social position, and who is much given
to travelling, does not deserve to be married; neither does one
who has many wives and children, or one who is devoted to sport
and gambling, and who comes to his wife only when he likes. Of
all the lovers of a girl he only is her true husband who possesses
the qualities that are liked by her, and such a husband only enjoys
real superiority over her, because he is the husband of love.'
Footnotes
1 There is a good deal of truth in the last few
observations. Woman is a monogamous animal, and loves but one,
and likes to feel herself alone in the affections of one man,
and cannot bear rivals. It may also be taken as a general rule
that women either married to, or kept by, rich men love them for
their wealth but not for themselves.

CHAPTER 5
On Certain Forms of Marriage
When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should
send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that
she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over
to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse
should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble
birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge
of human nature and affection of the girl in such a way as not
to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should
thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To
the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of
the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing
to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of
the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion
of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should
also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakoontala
and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their
own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in
their society. And she should also tell of other girls who married
into great families, and being troubled by rival wives, became
wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should
further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the
chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl
gets amorous about him, she should endeavour to allay her shame
(2) and her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster
that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act
the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about
the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the
endeavours he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, `It
will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly.'
The Forms of Marriage
When the girl is gained over, and acts openly with the man as
his wife, he should cause fire to be brought from the house of
a Brahman, and having spread the Kusha grass upon the ground,
and offered an oblation to the fire, he should marry her according
to the precepts of the religious law. After this he should inform
his parents of the fact, because it is the opinion of ancient
authors that a marriage solemnly contracted in the presence of
fire cannot afterwards be set aside.
After the consummation of the marriage, the relations of the man
should gradually be made acquainted with the affair, and the relations
of the girl should also be apprised of it in such a way that they
may consent to the marriage, and overlook the manner in which
it was brought about, and when this is done they should afterwards
be reconciled by affectionate presents and favourable conduct.
In this manner the man should marry the girl according to the
Gandharva form of marriage.
When the girl cannot make up her mind, or will not express her
readiness to marry, the man should obtain her in any one of the
following ways:
On a fitting occasion, and under some excuse, he should, by means
of a female friend with whom he is well acquainted, and whom he
can trust, and who also is well known to the girl's family, get
the girl brought unexpectedly to his house, and he should then
bring fire from the house of a Brahman, and proceed as before
described.
When the marriage of the girl with some other person draws near,
the man should disparage the future husband to the utmost in the
mind of the mother of the girl, and then having got the girl to
come with her mother's consent to a neighbouring house, he should
bring fire from the house of a Brahman, and proceed as above.
The man should become a great friend of the brother of the girl,
the said brother being of the same age as himself, and addicted
to courtesans, and to intrigues with the wives of other people,
and should give him assistance in such matters, and also give
him occasional presents. He should then tell him about his great
love for his sister, as young men will sacrifice even their lives
for the sake of those who may be of the same age, habits, and
dispositions as themselves. After this the man should get the
girl brought by means of her brother to some secure place, and
having brought fire from the house of a Brahman should proceed
as before.
The man should on the occasion of festivals get the daughter of
the nurse to give the girl some intoxicating substance, and then
cause her to be brought to some secure place under the pretence
of some business, and there having enjoyed her before she recovers
from her intoxication, should bring fire from the house of a Brahman,
and proceed as before. The man should, with the connivance of
the daughter of the nurse, carry off the girl from her house while
she is asleep, and then, having enjoyed her before she recovers
from her sleep, should bring fire from the house of a Brahman,
and proceed as before.
When the girl goes to a garden, or to some village in the neighbourhood,
the man should, with his friends, fall on her guards, and having
killed them, or frightened them away, forcibly carry her off,
and proceed as before.
There are verses on this subject as follows:
`In all the forms of marriage given in this chapter of this work,
the one that precedes is better than the one that follows it on
account of its being more in accordance with the commands of religion,
and therefore it is only when it is impossible to carry the former
into practice that the latter should be resorted to, As the fruit
of all good marriages is love, the Gandharva (3) form of marriage
is respected, even though it is formed under unfavourable circumstances,
because it fulfils the object sought for. Another cause of the
respect accorded to the Gandharva form of marriage is that it
brings forth happiness, causes less trouble in its performance
than the other forms of marriage, and is above all the result
of previous love.'
Footnotes
1 These forms of marriage differ from the four
kinds of marriage mentioned in Chapter I, and are only to be made
use of when the girl is gained over in the way mentioned in Chapters
III and IV.
2 About this, see a story on the fatal effects
of love at of Early Ideas: a Group of Hindoo Stories, collected
and collated by Anaryan, W. H. Allen and Co., London, 1881.
3 `About the Gandharvavivaha form of marriage, see note
to page 28 of Captain R. F. Burton's Vickram and the Vampire;
or Tales of Hindu Devilry, Longmans, Green and Co., London 1870.
This form of matrimony was recognised by the ancient Hindoos,
and is frequent in hooks. It is a kind of Scotch wedding - ultra.Caledonian
- taking place by mutual consent without any form or Ceremony.
The Gandharras are heavenly minstrels of Indra's court, who are
opposed to be witnesses.